Today's MindF*ck

Never before have I wanted so badly to curl up into a fetal position and just mutter comforting words of complete denial. "No. No, it wasn't real. It was just a joke! Wasn't real, just a joke. Soon they're going to say it was only a joke. They're going to tell me I was punk'd, and we'll all have a good laugh. Hahah. A good laugh."

It had Kirk Cameron in it, for god's sake. It had to be a comedy! It had the makings of a perfect satire. I sat there smiling for the first few minutes, fully entertained, expecting to be laughing my ass off. Any second now, here comes the punch line. But I soon realized something was very very wrong. A feeling of abject horror crept up on me. It may not, in fact, be a clever satire at all.

Dear readers, I must warn you. You might want to start with something a little milder first. Try the medium hot sauce before you try the atomic.

I recommend starting with My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys. I assure you it's mere child's play, compared to:

the Way of the Master!!! (For full effect, Click "No" when it asks you if you are a Christian).

What's in there, you ask? I can only tell you what Yoda once told Luke Skywalker: "Only what you take with you. Your weapons - you will not need them."